Breaking up with someone; even if you were the instigator, you know it was the right thing to do, or your ex-partner was undeniably horrible and you’re better off without them is never easy, however it all shakes down.
This is particularly true if you had been with your ex for a long time or the break up was sudden or unexpected; but the end of any relationship, even if it is mutually agreed and you remain great friends, is a sad time, and means a lot of mental, emotional and often, logistical upheaval.
We’re all aware of how after a breakup in the weeks and months that follow, things can seem a little odd as we begin to adjust, and we sometimes go a little mad in this time. This might mean making more of an effort to go out and have fun, trying out new styles, sometimes making big lifestyle changes; or for some people, the exact opposite, hiding away to try to get over the sense of loss.
However a breakup comes about and however you’re handling it, both on the surface and in reality, many people who find themselves newly single and trying to see the road ahead think to themselves “why not get a dog!” You might have always wanted a dog but your partner didn’t, you both wanted one but the time was never right, or the idea never really occurred to you before but now that it has, it seems like a brilliant one… Unconditional love, plenty of company, someone to come home to and make you laugh, and much more. A dog! Perfect.
This can feel like a real lightbulb moment for some people in the wake of a breakup, and every year, a large number of people become dog owners in very short order after they split from their partner. However, not all such dog purchases and adoptions go the distance, and if you have recently split up with a partner and want to get a dog, by all means start exploring your options and doing your research; but then pause there.
Don’t get a dog in the immediate weeks and first few months after a breakup; a dog is not a good rebound relationship partner and you might find that you and the dog are an even worse match than you and the ex-partner too.
This article will tell you why you shouldn’t get a dog in the wake of a breakup. Read on to learn more.
It is a simple fact that immediately after a breakup and in the weeks and even months that follow, you might not be thinking straight. Lots of people make big decisions and big changes in the wake of a breakup and many of them are brilliant, fulfilling, and exactly what was called for; and yes, it is true that getting a dog might be one of these positive transformations for you.
However, it might just as easily not be, and in the early post-breakup days, you probably won’t be able to tell the difference.
If getting a dog really is the genius idea it seems to be when you’re crying into your glass of wine in your ice cream-stained pyjamas, it will still seem like a good idea and you’ll still be enthused about it – and much better prepared for the realities of dog ownership – three months down the line when you’ve had time to think on it.
When your life as a whole is in upheaval, which may include a change to where you live, who lives with you, or just how your routine goes, adding in further complications and variables like a dog is unwise.
Not only is this the case in terms of the logistics as dogs need a settled home and owner, but when things are transient, up in the air, or you’re adjusting to a new status quo is not a good time to make hasty choices with lifelong implications for the dog.
You might find being alone really really hard, and even find that it makes you anxious. Having companionship and love are important parts of having a dog, and they make up some of the soundest reasons to get a dog too, as long as your decision is balanced and made with the dog’s interests in mind too.
Wanting something to love and to love you back is fine, and a dog might be exactly the thing to fill that hole in your life. However, just because you don’t want to be alone is not a good enough reason to take on such a commitment, and you need plenty of time and space to decide if a dog is really the right choice for you.
So you’re single right now and a dog seems like a good idea and one that would work; but what about long term? What if you and your partner reunited, or you got a new partner, or wanted to date casually?
Would you still be totally into the dog, and be willing to, say, decline to reunite with your ex if the dog was a dealbreaker, or lose out on dating someone because they didn’t like dogs – or even did like dogs, but already had one that didn’t get on with yours?
Dogs can be limiting, and they impose restrictions on you that even the happiest of dog owners will tell you, can really cramp your style. Having a dog has implications for your future relationships, in terms of how they work and even who they are with; in the wake of your breakup, are you really ready be ok with that?