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Two Diminutive Overlords Seeking Human Staff
Cleethorpes
8 hours
British ShorthairAge: 11 weeks1 male / 1 female
£450
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Litter
Available
British Shorthair Kitten 1Male£450
Available
British Shorthair Kitten 2Female£450
Details
Info
Adv. ID:XoAp8Hu0X
Views:82
Favourites:1
Advert Type:For sale
Litter details
Adv. Location:Cleethorpes
Pets in litter:1 male / 1 female
Breed:British Shorthair
Age:11 weeks, 5 days
Ready to Leave:19 Jul 2025
Viewable with Mother:
Health & Docs
Microchipped by collection dateVaccinations up to dateWorm and flea treatedHealth Checked by a vetParents are health testedRegistered
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WANTED: Suitable servants for world domination project
We regret to inform you that two extraordinarily qualified candidates are currently seeking positions as Supreme Rulers of your household. Meet Sif (male) and Soul (female), a pair of British black kittens whose fiery amber eyes burn with the intensity of a thousand suns and the determination to reduce grown adults to simpering servants armed with nothing but tuna tins and feather wands.
Essential Qualifications for Prospective Staff:
• Experience in subjugation: Previous enslavement to feline overlords preferred, though we are prepared to provide comprehensive training in the art of complete capitulation
• Ability to respond to 3 AM demands: Whether it’s the urgent need to stare at an empty food bowl or the pressing requirement to open doors that lead to absolutely nothing of interest
• Willingness to surrender all comfortable furniture: Your favourite armchair has already been earmarked as the Royal Throne
• Proficiency in interpreting meaningful stares: A 47-point communication system involving various degrees of disdain and expectation
What These Magnificent Tyrants Offer:
• Sif: A gentleman of distinguished bearing who graciously allows you to exist in his presence. Currently perfecting his technique of knocking items off tables with scientific precision
• Soul: A lady of impeccable breeding whose hobbies include judging your life choices and demonstrating that cardboard boxes are infinitely superior to the expensive cat bed you foolishly purchased
Both candidates come fully equipped with:
• Razor-sharp claws (for furniture redesign)
• Selective hearing (operational only during meal times)
• An innate understanding that 4 AM is the optimal time for spontaneous athletics
• The ability to look devastatingly cute whilst plotting your downfall
Warning: Previous humans report complete loss of autonomy, mysterious appearance of cat hair on all clothing, and an inexplicable compulsion to photograph their new masters doing absolutely nothing of note.
Serious inquiries only. Time-wasters will be subjected to prolonged periods of judgmental staring.
Distinguished Lineage:
These future monarchs come from the most impeccable bloodline:
• Mother: The Black Shadow, Guardian of Our Realm - a mysterious feline phantom who materialises only to ensure household security and disappears at the first sign of the vacuum cleaner
• Father: The Blue Shadow, Sovereign of This Universe and GSSF Champion - whose regal bearing and championship pedigree speak to generations of superior breeding and an uncanny ability to look magnificent whilst doing absolutely nothing
With such distinguished parentage, one can hardly be surprised that Sif and Soul have inherited both the natural authority to rule and the genetic predisposition to view humans as merely adequate staff.
References available from our current human, who describes the experience as “utterly exhausting and completely wonderful” whilst sporting what appears to be permanent claw marks and a glazed expression of devoted servitude.
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Pet Media Ltd trading as Pets4Homes is an Appointed Representative of Agria Pet Insurance Ltd, who administer the insurance. Agria Pet Insurance is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority, Financial Services Register Number 496160. Agria Pet Insurance Ltd is registered and incorporated in England and Wales with registered number 04258783. Registered office: First Floor, Blue Leanie, Walton Street, Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire, HP21 7QW. Agria insurance policies are underwritten by Agria Försäkring who is authorised and regulated by the Prudential Regulatory Authority and Financial Conduct Authority.
